10tip.html

Ten Tips to BEING Happy !

1. Decide to Be Happy.
       Happiness is a state of mind. Know that you can choose happiness as your basic state of being over             every other emotion. You can be effected how you want to be effected.

2.   Be Aware of Your Thoughts and Feelings.
       Deciding on happiness does not mean ignoring or suppressing other emotions. All emotions                are important. Anger for example could serve as a great indicator of personal boundary violations.
        Self awareness is an integral piece to maintaining happiness. Allow yourself to acknowledge your experiences by asking if the cause(s) of your emotion(s) is real or perceived then deciding upon the         simplest and best solution to a resolve.

3.    Be True to You.
        If your boundaries are crossed, don't ignore it. True happiness is gained by "keeping it real." Keep the         A&A approach in mind: admit then address. Nothing is more liberating than being true to your self.             Particularly, once you realize, this is best achieved without inflicting harm or pain, but with a generous heart. It is imperative to know and protect your person, for you are the only one who can.

4.    Breathe Deeply.
       Studies have shown that deep feelings such as anger, pain and frustration trigger increased pulse and             blood rate, tensing of muscles, hormone production which could cause sweating and/ or shaking. All             these symptoms (and more) occur instinctively as an unconscious throw back to our primary self. The         fight or flight reaction to a real (or not so real) threat is natural. How you manage these reactions is - or         can be - entirely conscious. Start by taking a breath, a deep breath; count to five at the very least                 (eventually working your way to ten when you become more skilled). Know that you need not respond         to stress, anger, pain, immediately. Allow yourself the opportunity to re-group, then apply the A&A             Approach once you are thinking, clearly.

5.    Be Aware of the Little Green Monster.
       Nothing is worse than feelings of inadequacy. Envy, a result of wanting something another possesses or         has achieved, can increase those feelings at a determined rate. Stop. Remember to breathe. Let this             emotion do one of two things: motivate you to achieve a goal (similar to what the person you envy has         achieved) and or recognize that envy is also a grudging admiration. Go ahead, experience the emotion
        of admiration. Congratulate the individual on their achievement or possession. Replace the belief that             they do not deserve it more than you with the reality that if it is possible for them, it possible for you,             as well. Besides, you don't know what experiences that individual is trading or has traded for that thing
        you envy. Chances are, you would not want to be in their place, at all. No status, no riches are greater         than knowing the value of you.

6.    Release the Grudge.
         This challenge proves most difficult for many, as their anger/grudge with a person (or persons)                     significant to them becomes (in their subconscious) an integral part of who they are. So accustomed             have they grown to their grudge, a life without it seems unfathomable. They have little idea that they              can live happily, free of their grudge, so, become afraid and /or unwilling to let it go. These people will         not see that ridding themselves of their grudge is allowing themselves the opportunity to move                     forward to a full life, as opposed to living painfully in yesterday.

        If you are such an individual, know that releasing your grudge does not mean you condone the                     behaviour of your perpetrator(s). Releasing your grudge is about releasing yourself from the prison             confines they built for you. It is about no longer allowing them power over you. Most importantly,             releasing your grudge is about reclaiming your power, and taking responsibility for your future. Being         injured, abused, mistreated by another is the fault of the offender; continuing, maintaining the injury to         yourself as an adult becomes your doing. You do not deserve continued mistreatment. You deserve           good. Remember, you do not have to do it alone.

7.    Give Thanks.
       Listen. As bad as your life was, you are here. You have survived. You are worth another chance.            Allow yourself to experience the good things included in this world. Be a witness to the beauty all around you. See it. Stop. Breathe the fresh air. Listen to the song of wildlife or the soothing whirr of
        highway traffic. Decide to see the good, the glory and your infinite possibilities. Make it count. If
        you don't know how, pretend you are a child seeing everything for the first time. Explore, examine,
        taste something new every month, every week - every day. Visit others who are worse off than you.
        If you find no such people - get help. You do not have to do this alone.

8.    Be an Example.
       Our greatest fault is pointing out the deficits in others, often because we are acutely aware of our own
        shortcomings. Know that we are each here for the common goal of living a good life. No person wants         to live a bad life - even she or he afraid of "good." The numbers of us existing are the many ways we
        we all strive to attain that goal. Learn your way. Strive your way. You achieve this by taking                     admirable qualities from those who have been an example to you (that person you envied earlier,                 maybe) or even adapting the contrary traits to someone you do not particularly admire. Make a list of         what you consider ideal characteristics of a person then work at incorporating them into your way of              being. Happiness really can be that simple to attain! Reclaim your previous joys; take dreams from the
        back burner and examine them. Remember the A& A approach. Are your back burner dreams still             important to you when examined against your present life? Is it time to live that dream or a version of
        it? Maybe you are currently living your dreams if not in the manner you visualized. Also, keep in mind
        that should you wish for others to change, when you change chances are they will follow.

9.    Fake it 'til You Make it.
Face it. Being happy is no simple task. Many are the people terribly unhappy with their life (regardless         of how ideal their life may seem).They will resent and in turn attempt to sabotage your great mood -             your positive uplifted spirit. It will be difficult fighting the constant barrage of negativism, but know this,
       Fight It You Can!

        When someone attempts to destroy your peace or dump their baggage onto your proverbial lap, greet             the situation with a hearty laugh like they are the funniest thing you have seen; realize, you need only             accept what you wish. Lending a listening ear or a strong shoulder need not burden you. Refusing                 someone's baggage or poor wishes is not being rude. Remember tip 1 thru 8. Call on yourself to recall         the necessary tool(s) to help you.

10. You Are Lying Only to You.

        Though last, this tip is the most important, for without it you will be hard-pressed to truly accomplish         your goal. This tip is not listed as number one because the previous nine may aid with its attainment.             This most crucial advice is the key to happiness; the truer you are to it, the freer you will become.
       It's meaning? The deepest, darkest, truest secret you dare not share for sake of presenting terribly and         loosing every meaningful relationship you know... already is known. The only individual from whom             you hide this wretched self is yourself. The rest of us - people who know you, whom you've met on
the street, at the corner store, at a party, an interview, a vacation... all know your secret for you share
it with us on the most intuitive level. We know it and still you survive. Logic dictates that you share it
        with yourself. Remember the A& A approach: Admit, Assess then decide if your life will truly expire if         and when you have finally confronted and realeased this lie.

        Do not pretend. This is your opportunity to be completely real. Are you the diva who believes she is the         ugly duckling that the kids once laughed at? Are you the marter, giving all to others as an excuse
       to hide from your dreams? Are you the victim or the bad seed because bad attention is better than none         or victimizing/demonizing yourself covers for another? Are you the failure trying to prove something             to society who's really afraid of meeting his/her own (or a significant other's) expectations - maybe you         know meeting their standard is not attainable, so trying is futile... what ever your secret, whatever             your lie, whatever your reasons, it does not matter. The only thing that matters is the truth. The truth
        that you are a valuable, worthwhile, splendid creature here to love and be loved, and spread good and
        honour to all you encounter, including yourself. The rest is incidental: your age, gender, class, ethnicity,
        profession, intelligence, possessions; all these are merely vehicles or tools to get you to the truth.
        Remember this, know this when life becomes difficult and doubts begin to knock at the back door of             your mind.


You will notice a common theme as a summary of the above: Make a conscious decision to be what you desire. Listen, trust, and commit to your true self through constant honesty, and happiness will prevail.

This is the first day of the rest of your life.

So what are you going to do with it?

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